Why want what you CAN’T have????

He sat there all brilliant and beautiful. And I lusted after him. The only man in the world of a lesbain who could make my heart pound with a fervor far greater than any woman could.

He smiled. I almost cried. I wanted nothing more than to touch him. Then she came. A thin rail of white magic. She sits upon him and he smiles at her. But alas his eyes are upon me. Do I pose or do I pretend not to notice? I turn away from his eyes afraid that I can not trust myself not to run to him. I close my eyes and there he is again. In my mind, In my life, In my heart. He just will not go away. I dream and he is there. I walk about and he passes me. In quiet oblivion I stare. And then one day he speaks. But more so he speaks to me. His voice captures me like a lover long awaited and whispering in the night. And his hand is upon mine. Then as quickly as he came he is gone. I was too stupid to act upon that moment. And my mind burns with the horrid realization that I may not get another. A tear touches my face and the wind blows it away. I sleep. The morn comes and I am on my feet again looking for him…he comsumes me. He is here, I know it. I can smell him, my body is aching to feel him, and then I haer him. I am locked into his eyes and this time I call for him. Our hands meet again and I’m calmed, for I am holding tight. I can not let him go. Days pass and we have shared much laughter. There have been many moments of hesitation. And then in the moment my mind is made up. She is there. She touches him swift and gently. His eyes lock upon her’s and he makes love to her lips with his own. But reaches out and holds tight to me. My heart beats once more rapidly. I do not know what this means. He is holding me while he has the chance at such a lovley lady. Am I fooling myself? Should I let time take toll? Or do I run!?Does he want me as badly as I do him?I need to know….. Because my biggest fear is to let completely loose and realize I so desperatley want what I can’t have!!!