Yhea Well…Screw you then

Sitting here, with a blank piece of paper staring at me…mocking me. Saying I don’t have the courage to write what I want on it. I pretend not to hear it. I leave my bed and put my headphones on.

“Now you can’t mock me anymore.” I say under my breath.
Ugh, Marylin Manson…but I don’t change it. Instead I listen to see if he has any idea what to write on this paper. All I hear it the him singing…
” Sweet dreams are made of these… Who in their mind to disagree. I travled the world and the seven seas. Everybody’s looking for somthing.”
My ears perk up. My dreams…that it! My lonsome,shaollow,unrealistic dreams that faded from my mind…
Everyonem made fun of me because of my dreams. It was just the way it was. I told my “best friend” my dream I had and she’d mock me for it.
” Don’t you dream of anything else but what you want?” she’d laugh
I, however, would think of a good way to make her stop laughing… But my attemps never worked. She’d just laugh harder or curse at me. Then I’d go after her. I would have her my the hair and wisper sinsterly “yhea well… screw you then.” She’d scaper away.
Ah, a new song…(yes the fucking paper is still mocking me) I being to sing to drown out the cries. Don’t you hate it when parents fight? My mum bursts in, tears in her eyes. She beings to look around my room… She turns to me.
” What are you listing to?”
” The Whits Stripes” I lie.
” Oh okay.”
And she walks out. I begin to sing again… but I fall alseep during the procsses.

I don’t wake up until night. When he comes home…Yes, he, the other member of my fucked up family. He’s big and musclar, and he has brown hair plastered onto his round head. One of those kinds who thinks he’s the best person in the world because he fucks two whores a night. I stay clear of him…untill tonight when he comes into my bedroom.
” Hello Emmie. How have you been?” He says.
I don’t respond.
” Emmie, why don’t you talk to me anymore? We always used to talk.”
” Yes, Darren, we did. Until you…” I trailed off.
” Untill I did what?”
” You know what! And now I can’t trust you anymore.”
He comes over and hugs me. Darrens the same age I am. We used to really like each other,until he decided that he wanted me as one of his whores. So he thought it’d be fun to rape me. Now we never talk. Just ocasionally. He leaves my room and I go back to the piece of paper. I begin to write. I write down my troubles and why I hate life. Here is what I had to say:
“I guess you could say I’m a regular teenager, but you really can’t. I’ve been throught more things than you can possibly imagine. Like abused…raped…hurt from a person I trusted most. My dreams used to be like anyother kids…when I was young. I dreamed of ponies and unicorns. Bubble gum trees that you could eat. But then I grew up. And my dreams became more and more horrific. Death consumed them. The clear color of blood. Dark red. It wasn’t my choice…I never had a chocie….”
And it was true… I never had a choice…and I never will

By Notyourbeautyqueen

I used to write on Darkness about two years ago, and now, after many years of being in the shadows...I decided to come out again